


{so used to living underneath the surface}

by falsemurmur



Category: Smallville
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-18
Updated: 2009-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 12:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsemurmur/pseuds/falsemurmur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>She could either hurt both her and him by saying “no” or she could say "yes" and at least spare him the physical pain that would result from her lie. </em>
<em></em></p>
            </blockquote>





	{so used to living underneath the surface}

**Author's Note:**

> Set during 8x05, "Committed", Lois' perspective.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**Current music:** |   
[Lifehouse](http://www.last.fm/music/Lifehouse) \- [Storm](http://www.last.fm/music/Lifehouse/_/Storm) | Powered by [Last.fm](http://www.last.fm/)  
  
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**Entry tags:** |   
[character-centric: lois lane](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/character-centric:+lois+lane), [pairing: clark/lois](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/pairing:+clark/lois), [tv: smallville](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/tv:+smallville), [type: drabble/ficlet](http://community.livejournal.com/wings_for_craft/tag/type:+drabble/ficlet)  
  
  
_**{so used to living underneath the surface}**_  
**title: **{so used to living underneath the surface}  
**fandom: **Smallville  
**summary: **_She could either hurt both her and him by saying “no” or she could say "yes" and at least spare him the physical pain that would result from her lie. __  
_**character(s)/pairing(s):** Lois (Lois/Clark, undertones)  
**genre:** Angst/Romance  
**rating:** PG  
**note: **Set during 8x05, "Committed", Lois' perspective. Not so fun fact, the first fics I read were of the Smallville variety. Pretty weird that only now have I written a piece for SV (technically, the SV/Heroes I wrote crossover doesn't count!). Sucks that I'm disatisfied w/this piece, though. Eh, I may rewrite it eventually. But for now, there's this. :)~*~

A jolt charged through her heart. More like a dozen jolts that she wanted to zap the hell out of her heart, body, and life.

His eyes met hers, and for a second the world subsided, as did her pulse, but the zap awoke her and she had to react. She had to speak. She had to answer.

She can’t recall if time passed slowly, or if it ran so amuck she felt like she only had a millisecond to answer. But one thing she knew--she would come out hurt either way. Truth or no truth, she’d feel a pressure compressing her heart’s ribcage. She’d feel the breath sucked out of her. She’d feel nothing and…and everything. A rush of emotions she always thought were myths laid down for ignorant little girls, and for masochistic men that got off on girls internally dying for them.

She never thought she’d be the type of woman to back off on her beliefs and the stances she once so fiercely took, but Lois, she knew a lost cause when she saw it. And holding onto a stubborn, cynical view of fairy tales was downright idiotic if she it meant hurting not only herself, but the man who was the catalyst of those internal jolts.

So she could either hurt both her and him by saying “no” or she could say "yes" and at least spare him the physical pain that would result from her lie. Saying “no” to the question “deep down, underneath it all, do you love this man?” probably would have made her stomach turn, but that was a vile feel she could withstand. But him getting hurt again, with all those electrical jolts jarring his body, wouldn’t be so easy to withstand.

“Just tell the truth,” he had said, and it cut her. Because he thought he knew the answer, and everything would be so much easier if he was right. Except, he wasn’t. He’s not.

“Do you love him?”

The question was thrown at her once again and no matter her answer, her heart would have been splayed out for him to see. Telling the truth was the only option.

“Yes.”

There was once comfort in the eyes of that man. Truth be told, he will always hold the reassurances she needs when she’s at her most vulnerable. Thus, even seconds after admitting her love, she had to look at him. Not because her choice was to look at either a cold, inanimate, concrete floor or a guy who held engaged couples hostage, or the man she had fallen in love with. She did not choose either of the three. Instead she chose to look at _Clark_ whose shoulders were slumped. It was all too ironic and morbid then, that just as she faced the layers made due to him and laid her eyes on him as the man she loved, he was asked, “and you, do you love this woman?”

His answer never came. It was better that way--because she already knew the answer (small hopes be damned), so she was at least spared of that agony.


End file.
